Uplifting Renewal

“Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.” – Matt Walsh

Choosing to become a parent is one of life’s most profound decisions. It’s not just about raising children, it’s about shaping the future. As parents, we are not only providers but also role models, mentors, and guides. The environment we create at home becomes the foundation upon which our children build their lives.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone

The power of observation: Children learn by watching

Children absorb more than we think. They mirror our attitudes, values, and actions. Whether it’s how we manage stress, express emotions, or treat others, our children are watching and learning.

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum

To children, parents are superheroes. They provide:

• Comfort, a place of safety and reassurance.
• Protection from harm, fear, and emotional stress.
• Wisdom, answering the endless “whys”.
• Power, the ability to fix problems and make things right.

Reflective questions:

• What values are you modeling at home?
• Are you guiding your children intentionally?
• If your children are grown, are you proud of the adults they’ve become?

When a healthy relationship is maintained, a child’s perception is shaped positively. This builds trust and emotional security. It also creates a strong bond that lasts into adulthood.

Parenting roles and the need for evolution

The Father’s role has expanded

Modern fatherhood has expanded due to a combination of social, cultural, economic, and psychological shifts that have transformed how families function and what’s expected of fathers today.

Studies in child psychology and development have shown how critical a father’s emotional presence is for a child’s self-esteem, behavior, academic performance, and overall well-being. This has helped redefine the father’s role beyond finances and authority.

Many modern fathers, especially those who may not have had close relationships with their own dads, are consciously choosing to parent better. They want to be more emotionally available, engaged, and present in their children’s lives.

Respect for authority starts at home. When children learn this early, it shapes their character and sets them up for lifelong success.

As Scripture reminds us:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth” – Ephesians 6:1-3.

While fathers are called to lead, it’s important they don’t misuse their authority in ways that frustrate or provoke their children. True leadership involves patience, understanding, and intentional guidance.

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” – Ephesians 6:4

The Mother’s role is ever-multiplying

Traditionally, mothers were expected to focus primarily on childcare and homemaking. Today, many mothers are also:

• Professionals holding full-time jobs or running businesses.
• Educators helping with homework, online learning, or homeschooling.
• Emotional anchors providing support not just for children, but often for their partners and extended family.
• Household managers, coordinating meals, schedules, appointments, and daily logistics.

Even in households where both parents work, studies show that mothers still shoulder most of the domestic and childcare responsibilities. This mental and emotional load, remembering appointments, managing school communications, planning meals and more can be overwhelming and often invisible.

Despite societal progress, many mothers still carry the bulk of household and parenting duties. This imbalance can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. It may cause resentment within the family. There can also be tension in the relationship between the parents and with the children.

This is why the only solution is a more equitable home life where parenting is truly shared by both parents.

Raising children with intention: Planting seeds that last

Intentional parenting means raising your children with purpose, clarity, and awareness. It’s not about being perfect but about being present and proactive, rather than reactive.

Do not let the world, circumstances, or even your exhaustion dictate how your children grow. Intentional parenting means you are actively shaping their character. You are guiding their values and nurturing their emotional and spiritual development.

This includes:

• Knowing your values and modeling them at home.
• Making decisions with the future in mind, not just short-term comfort.
• Setting clear boundaries, but also offering grace.
• Prioritizing connection over control.
• Paying attention to your child’s unique personality and shaping your approach accordingly.
• Teaching through example, not just instruction.

Children raised with intention often develop a strong sense of identity and resilience. They also develop empathy and purpose. This is because they’ve been guided by parents who saw their role as a calling, not just a responsibility.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Healing parent-child wounds: Restoring what was broken

Every relationship experiences strain, but when the bond between a parent and child is fractured, the pain can run deep. Emotional distance, misunderstandings, and unmet expectations can cause these fractures. Mistakes made in the past can also lead to such wounds. Healing is possible, but it requires honesty, humility, patience, and grace.

For parents, healing begins with:

• Acknowledging past hurts, not denying or minimizing them.
• Taking responsibility, even when intentions were good.
• Listening without defensiveness, allowing the child to share their truth.
• Offering genuine apologies and the willingness to rebuild trust.

Sometimes, parents are the ones carrying pain from disobedience, rejection, or emotional wounds caused by their children. To those parents, let go of the image of the “perfect child” and embrace the one you have.

“A parent’s love is whole no matter how many times divided.” – Robert Brault.

For children, healing may mean:

• Recognizing the humanity of your parents, imperfect people who likely did the best they could with what they had.
• Giving yourself permission to grieve unmet needs.
• Choosing forgiveness, not as a dismissal of pain, but as a path to freedom.

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” – Oscar Wilde

Healing is a journey, not a single moment. It’s about reconnecting, sometimes slowly, and rewriting the story with compassion. The beautiful truth? Even broken relationships can be mended when love, humility, and intentionality lead the way.

“Forgiveness does not erase the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese

Parenting as a single parent: Strength in the struggle

Parenting is already one of the most demanding roles in life. Doing it alone adds an entirely new level of challenge. But single parents are some of the most resilient, resourceful, and loving people in the world.

Whether you’re raising your children solo by circumstance or by choice, know this: your love is enough. You may not have all the answers. You might not always feel strong. Every day you show up, you are making a lasting impact.

Yes, it’s exhausting at times. But it also reveals a depth of strength and sacrificial love that is truly inspiring. What matters most isn’t perfection, it’s being present, consistent, and loving. Your children see your effort. They see your sacrifice. And they will grow up knowing what resilience and devotion look like.

“Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong.” – Meg Lowrey

The influence of a parent matters

Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Your daily efforts, sacrifices, and choices may not always be immediately visible, but they are shaping your child’s future. Lead with love. Be present. Be consistent.

Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” – W.E.B. Du Bois

Every moment spent teaching, nurturing, and loving your children leaves a lasting imprint on their lives. Whether you’re parenting toddlers or teenagers, remember this: Your role as a parent matters. If you’re reconnecting with adult children, your role matters more than you know. Be intentional. Be forgiving. Be present.

“The heart of a parent is the masterpiece of God.” – Antoine-Francois Prevost.